Chapter 14
A Pair of People
One afternoon later in 2017, Emma my granddaughter came round for tea and told me her news. She had found a lovely man online with Tinder, the dating site. They had started going out and she was happy and excited. I had told Emma how very unhappy I was living on my own and she suggested that I went onto a dating site myself, obviously not Tinder which is for younger people but something suitable for my age.
I was quite reluctant to try this new form of meeting people but as it seemed to be the modern way, why not? I thought. I read The Telegraph newspaper, which had a dating site, and I decided that I would give it a try. You have to answer a multitude of questions before you start the procedure. This is a good idea because it gives any prospective suitor an idea of what you are like besides seeing your photograph. When asked what sort of person I would like to meet I put an academic. I had worked with academics, and been married to one for over thirty years and thought that I knew their foibles. In mid-2018 I saw on my screen an academic who wanted to meet me. We started emailing each other, getting to know each other. I told him about my life and sorrow at being a widow, and he told me about some of his life and his sorrow at losing his wife after fifty years together. We then decided, two months later, to meet each other. But where? I suggested a pub in Burford, a town not far from where I live. A long way as it happens from his hometown of Ross on Wye. Still, that is where we met.
I arrived at the car park, got out of the car and saw at the entrance a tall man standing with his arms outstretched. I literally ran into them and he kissed me on my cheek. We held hands and walked into the pub. His name is Alan Francis Harrison, and is a retired professor. I love the name Francis, it makes me think of St. Francis of Assisi, my favourite saint, and Francis is the name we settled on straight away.
Over lunch, a waiter brought a big bunch of red roses to the table for me from Francis. It was so unexpected it brought a tear to my eye. After lunch he followed me back in his car to my house, which is in a small market town near Oxford. He brought his guitar from the car and played me two Flamenco pieces. Then we sat on the sofa and he kissed me.
What a surprise I had! I felt like a teenager all over again, brain a swirl and had difficulty standing up. Two weeks later he moved in and has been here ever since.
He is perfect to live with, although I have to admit he is untidy. He looks after me at every turn. He is very amusing and we laugh throughout the day.
In mid-2018 I was diagnosed with lung cancer just three months after we had met. He came to the hospital every day and stayed with me, bringing food and comfort. After the operation, I didn’t come round from the anaesthetic for over eight hours and Francis didn’t leave my side. He was there when I eventually woke up. But I was discharged from the hospital too soon and so had complications with an infected abscess and had to return to hospital for two weeks on a drip of antibiotics. Francis again stayed with me every day. And when we got home, he spoiled me with tea in bed and lovely tempting lunches, flowers and cards. I recovered slowly but without Francis I wonder how I would have managed? People have said he was heaven-sent and I believe there was some Higher Being involved. I think it is Jesus Christ who intervenes, as He has, I am quite sure, on many occasions in my life.
People have also said that I was brave to have tried computer dating. After all, I was 78 at the time I registered and perhaps should have known better. But for me the outcome was miraculous and still is. We are both in our eighties now and have all sorts of aches and pains but we keep laughing and our life is very good. If you are single or a widow/widower reading this do be brave and give it a try. I know the newspapers are full of the terrible things that could happen to you finding someone this way, but I have two other friends who have been equally lucky in finding a loving companion doing computer dating with no problems. Just be sensible and careful. And good luck.
We live a very quiet life, which suits us. We eat well, exercise and when the weather is fair we walk in the woods, breathe in the fresh air and listen to the birds. On return we have a glass of wine and a Roka biscuit. In the afternoon I have a nap then we watch the news at six. Francis makes the supper, usually two bowls of chicken soup and an apple. Then we play Scrabble and watch well-chosen films like Downton Abbey or Colditz. And we watch many films of the 1939/45 war, which we prefer to anything modern. Sometimes we ask friends to lunch or tea and we do like to go out to eat at an excellent nearby pub, on sunny days. All this may sound a little dreary to you but we are old now and it is just the right pace for us.
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